The Lone Badass and Why Most People Like Them

This particular archetype has permeated the Fantasy genre for awhile now. They're usually tough guys and gals that could chop your tongue off with a flick of their wrist, and could drink an entire pirate crew under the table. They've got a million lovers to their name, but of course no one can truly claim their heart. They can be found in every fantasy media from around the world. We're utterly obsessed with the these guys and it's pretty easy to understand why.

The Lone badass is usually the epitome of cool. They've got the best weapons, all the skills, and don't take shit from anyone. The mayor says to retreat from the incoming basilisk? Ha, forget that, the Lone Badass is just gonna charge ahead guns blazing! Normally they've got some rugged good looks, or a cold sexiness. And let's not forget those sarcastic quips that can shut up a fire breathing dragon. They're not followers nor are they leaders, they're doers.

Simply put, the Lone Badass is kinda what we wish we could be. While fantasy as a whole can be considered a form of escape, the Lone Badass archetype allows you to be exactly what you wanted, more so than any other archetype in the genre. Unlike the Priestess who has a duty to her church, or the Soldier who has to worry about King and Country, the Lone Badass is free of all that. Most people, regardless of what they may say, wants to be the swashbuckling hero who gets things done. They don't need to rely on the others around them and risk being disappointed or failing, because the Lone Badass has enough skills on their own to keep them afloat. And best of all they are able to form their own paths in life. You know, according to the author's outline, but that goes without saying.

In our world everything is pointed out to us, and we have to do things a certain way. Practically our entire lives are dictated by someone else, and it's a huge risk to just break free of that and do what you want and how you want. By reading about the Lone Badass, we get to see people doing just that. For a Lone Badass the world is their's for the taking, they just have to buckle down and do what needs to be done in order to achieve their goals. Something most people from our world would envy.

...Or it could be the gratuitous amount of sex they have. I dunno.

I'm gonna go make a snack now.

Longterm Relationships Rock!

Why is it so hard to find a story with characters who are already in a relationship? I mean, there's something awesome seeing how a couple functions under pressure without the 'firsts' jitters! ...Ya'll probably have no idea what I'm ranting about, or why I'm ranting. To be fair, I don't really know either, but it's just something I've thought about. I mean, how much new ground could be covered in a story if we could get past the whole 'do they actually love me, or do they wanna just jump my vampiric emo bones?' The story of falling in love has been done so many times, and after finally being in an adult relationship, I kinda like being out of the jittery stage. It's so awkward and you second guess everything!

And I know what you're saying to yourself right now: "That's the point Luka, it's a perilous road to true love. It takes work, hardship, and drama!"

That's true, it's so true that it hurts my soul. But after seeing my parents pass their 20th marriage anniversary a month ago, I saw how much harder it is to stay in love. You have to deal with that idiot who refuses to lower the toilet lid, or holding a purse in the mall even though it ain't the least bit manly. There's finances that have to get worked over, and disagreements on the color of the living room, add in killing vampires and hunting for magical swords then BAM! It's a formula that's almost begging to get completed! Now I'm not saying we've got to have an elderly couple, but imagine how badass that would be, but new blushing love really isn't a novelty. When I was fourteen I fell in love at least once a month, the only exception being Valentine's Day of course...It was a matter of principle.

Anyway, the idea of having to tough through situations to keep your love together, a love you've held for awhile now, and feel it almost get ripped away from you pulls on the heart strings. Even in our mundane world without magic there's things that can rip our loved ones away from us. But it's the determination and hard work of a couple, mixed with a healthy dose of patience, that can help a couple overcome nearly anything. The magic of true love is not found with a quick summer romance, but tested through time and hardship.

Um, this one was really mushy. So I think I'm gonna go call my boyfriend. This is like a prelude into this whole idea, I'll probably come back and expand on it sometime...

Can We Take A Minute to Mention This? (Undertale Edition)

Have you ever done something, then just couldn't stop looking back at that one thing? It gave you some type of high that seems to linger far longer than it's worth? You could even call it...addictive?

I am that person right now.

Recently I played the hit indie game Undertale. An adorable computer game that is a throw back to old role playing games, has lovely music, fun characters, a meta magic system, and a surprisingly deep storyline. I learned about this gem two months ago. Yes, now you know where I disappeared to. I kinda burrowed into my mother's basement and am only just resurfacing to write this. Yeah, I'm a filthy nerd, deal with it.

Anyway, you're probably wondering what that has to do with anything. Well, I just wanna talk about the story. (And fangirl, but you could already tell, huh?) For all intents and purposes, the story of Undertale is about the child Frisk falling into the Underground, a mysterious place under Mt. Ebott, and trying to find their way out. Problem is that the monsters imprisoned there need seven souls to break the barrier that keeps them from leaving. Now guess what number Frisk happens to be, no go ahead and guess...I'll give ya a minute.

It seems like a pretty copy and paste story, but it becomes complicated when they throw in the meta. Holy mother of God does it have some meta. You know that save, load, and reset function video games have? Yeah, the bad guy is completely aware you have it. Heck, he was the one spamming it before Frisk tumbled along.  And if that's not bad enough, if you decide to kill off all the characters, when you load back in because you feel guilty, some will have a feeling of deja vu. Then there is one particular character that will know and comment on how many times you killed them.

The reason Frisk has this magic is because their soul is full of determination. Determination is a trait only humans possess, and monsters cannot sustain it in their bodies due to their weak souls and physical bodies. In fact their weak souls must be combined with a human soul, which is naturally stronger, to become powerful. This little fact is what spurred the war between humans and monsters, and caused them to get sealed under Mt. Ebott.

For what could be considered a kids game, it went through some very heavy material. Suicide, racism, child death, megalomania, genocide, sacrifice, body horror, and otakus. But all of it subtle and with a certain type of whimsy that you could swallow until the bam endings.

It's really a game designed to jerk on your emotions, and it works. It mostly has to do with the cast of quirky characters. All of them are well written, given proper arcs, and were designed in the perfect ways for you to both reject and accept them depending on your personality. Since, as you've probably guessed, this game has a lot to do with player interaction and reaction. And even if there is something about a character that you dislike, you'll probably find something else within them to find endearing if not enjoyable.

Of course this is all a matter of opinion. Some people don't like the game, which I understand, but I do and I run the blog , so there! Actually, I'll be doing a character analysis on Sans the Skeleton, probably the fan favorite of the game. I feel like he's one of the better developed characters in the game, and there's something we could all learn once he's broken down.

Anyway, I hope you guys like this side questish thing. I want to do more in the future, though we'll have to see how passionate(obsessed) I get about something else.

I'm gonna go do laundry now...

On Blending Cultures

So have you ever read a book, watched a movie, or played a game that had something obvious? And no, I don't mean giant boobs, a lack of ethnic people, or a really annoying narrator. Nope, what I mean is culture blend. You could be reading a book that has an all 'pale as snow' cast, but for whatever reason the characters are all in a South-East Asian setting and have a love for voodoo. Now some people would say that this is cultural appropriation, and that you should avoid this type of thing in your works. I have seen whole articles on how writers should keep their fantasy cultures with some semblance of 'realism' hence why you don't have black characters in a medieval setting, or white characters in an African setting. However, by doing that I may as well read a historical novel and not spend my hard earned cash on your fantasy book. The wonderful thing about fantasy is the fact that it's a world where anything, within the rules YOU set, are able to happen. That includes having voodoo priests that like Indian curry, and live in an igloo. But, like all things, there's rules to blending cultures. Well it's not really rules, but more like a guideline so that you'll have less pissed off people ranting at you.

 1. Do Your Research- Obvious, but it seems more people are in love with the 'idea' of cultures, than actually having to research them. Make sure you research two different cultures before you put them through the machine. If you want to make your 'blendy culture' to be as rich as possible, then you'll need to research the various aspects of it. If you take only the well known things of say...Japanese culture. Then you'll miss out on the smaller aspects that could have helped move your plot along, or given your characters some of their ideals, or even given some depth to your fantasy world.

2. Some Things DON'T go together- If you're blending a vegetarian Indian-esque culture with a proud African hunter culture, you're doing something wrong. Some things just don't go together because the philosophy or lifestyles don't match. When blending cultures some semblance of commonsense still has to be maintained in order to create a nice cultural blend that everyone can believe that could happen in a real culture.

3. Be Somewhat Sensitive About Your Core Cultures-Don't be an ass and make the 'vaguely Middle Eastern' culture a bunch of terrorists. At the same time don't make the 'vaguely English/American' culture the good guys in every situation. I'm not even sure why I'm having to say this, it seems really obvious, but you know...Some people just don't get it.

4. Be Aware of Naming Patterns-I never understood why people will have an English setting, but will give their characters Persian, Chinese, or Irish names without any good reason being told. I'm sure it's partially because the character is a 'chosen one', 'really royalty', or something, but there's still no excuse. I think this one annoys me the most since naming conventions tell a lot about a country, class, or even a bit about the family that your character was born into. For example the name Yoshino was a common Japanese name for lower class prostitutes. If your female mercenary character was given this name and we later learn she was born into a brothel, that would be a very interesting bit of information that could open up a bit of lore about your world.

So there we go, four things that should help your cultural blending smoothies. Long awaited, like three months really, but well thought out and researched.

Why this Idiot Likes Steampunk

Recently I read an article, and the writer complained on how they hate steampunk. This is probably the twelfth article that I've read where someone complains about steampunk, and how it's all just a fetishist's version of the Victorian period. For those of you living in a pit and have no idea what I'm referring to, steampunk is fantasy set in a Victorian era world, or at least a world that has tech from that time period. It doesn't necessarily mean that the equipment is powered with steam, most times it's crystals, but it's almost a marriage between sci-fi and fantasy. It also refers to a type of street fashion, but we won't get into that. And for whatever reason, a lot of people are completely against this newish type of fantasy subgenere. Personally, I don't care if someone doesn't like it or not. Everyone is free to their own opinions, even in this dark place called the internet. If someone doesn't like steampunk then more power to them, but I do like it, and here are my reasons why.

The Advancement of Technology-It sounds stupid, but the advancement of technology is always interesting within the world of steampunk. Almost everything I've read has to do in this dreary dark ages world that seems to have completely halted, but the world of steampunk is moving. Whether it's giant airships, or modest guns, you can tell that the world is finally moving and growing.

The Unique Feel- Something about steampunk feels so unique. It can be set in the middle of Victorian-esque London, or it an be set in the middle of the southwest with cowboys and magic trains. No matter what you're doing there's something unique and fun that can be experimented with, and there's fewer restraints than what you would have with a dark ages setting.

Seeing Magic and Technology Side by Side- If you've read a typical fantasy book, magic is usually front and center. However in a steampunk novel, you get to see the two factions side by side. This creates a unique dynamic within the world, allowing you to see the advantages and pitfalls of both practices. There's even times when you can't tell the difference between the two, and times like that makes for a very interesting read.

So these are just my own thoughts. Granted this isn't a very long list, but I'm pretty new to steampunk, and I needed to write something for the blog. A terrible excuse, but I'll have a better article next time.

I'm gonna go eat some dinner now...

Writing Useless Yet Likeable Characters

Tokyo freaking Ghoul! Yeah, I need to rant about this. I've been obsessed with this God-forsaken show for months now, and all I've been doing is quoting this anime, squealing about the awesome characters, and crying over my baby Kaneki. Seriously, fangirl mode is on full throttle and I'm very ashamed of this. However this is; mostly, a blog on writing so let's get to the topic at hand. Tokyo Ghoul is an anime about survival, not just with humans, but the human eating ghouls as well. Each party thinks their side is right, and that if only the other party would disappear then all would be right with the world. Caught in the middle of this war is Kaneki Ken, a nerdy human that decides he wants to man up at the wrong time, the girl he goes out with happens to be a ghoul that tries to eat him, Then, because this is an anime and it needs drama, all the ghoul's organs are stuffed into his body making him an artificial half ghoul. Granted a very wimpy ghoul, he's even likened to a female at one point, but a flesh eating ghoul none the less. So unlike most stories our character isn't the awesome badass, the suave rogue, or even the sneaky scientist. Our main character is a book worm that just wants to finish his degree and live a normal life. Yet everyone likes him when he's useless, a lot more so than his 'taken a level in badass' self. And that's what I'm here to talk about, trying to make likable yet useless characters.

Most times people complain about these characters because they whine and angst. They don't want to help themselves get out of their situation, they'll just whine until they suddenly become the chosen ones, and then they'll start angsting about how they're too badass. Trying to pull of a useless hero takes work, and if you can't sell it then your readers will hate you.

1: Make Your Character Likable-This should go without saying. If your character is essentially useless, you've got to make them likable. Have them be the butt monkey to jokes, have them speak a little wisdom, even have them be a bit snarky. Whatever you do, just make sure that the audience likes them, and won't mind their uselessness.

2: Don't Let Them Angst- This is practically one of my rules to every post, but I'll repeat it anyway. Useless characters that angst about how useless they are don't need to exist. They're like students who complain about how much they suck at math, but don't take the time to study Satan's Subject. A useless character doesn't have to be happy about their current standing, but they shouldn't angst about it either, because all positions can be improved. Speaking of which...

3: Have Them Try to Improve Themselves- They don't need to take a full level of badass like Kaneki did, but they should at least try to improve upon their 'useless' status. This doesn't necessarily mean they need to be a fighter, they could change into a tactician, a sage, or a scholar. Just give them the drive and determination to change. However, you could always have them fail at this, making them the butt end of jokes all the time.

4: Don't Have Them Improve Right Away- I actually loved Eragon as a kid. I bought the book, my parents got me the movie, and then I bought the videogame. Eragon was probably one of the first YA high fantasy books I ever read, and I was totally in love with the concept. However I always got upset by how quickly the titular character managed to achieve and master new skills. I'm not even talking about magic ones, I'm talking about normal ones like reading; he mastered that in a week. Now I have three brothers I helped teach how to read, it does not take a week to learn the basics of reading, especially when you only have so much time to practice and you're under pressure. So when you're trying to get your useless character to improve, be sure you're not having it happen too quickly unless they already have a basic understanding/foundation of that skill.

So that's all I have to say about that. Just remember: make your character have proper character development, and a decent personality, and you'll go far. Or at least your readers won't want to drag your bloody corpse and feed you to zombies.

I'm gonna go read Tokyo Ghoul :Re now...

An Idiot's Review of Cloaked

So, I'll be the first to admit, I have not read an abundant amount of paranormal romance. The few I have read are usually terrible, and as such I do my best to stay away from them for that reason only. However, a dear friend of mine told me I needed to broaden my horizons if I wanted to improve my writing. So I traveled around the internet and managed to find a paranormal romance book to read, in exchange for a fair and honest review. The particular book I picked up was Cloaked, a fifty page novella that dragged me to Romania so I could hang out with a wulfkin and a moody detective. And guys, let's keep that complaints about the over saturation of werewolves to ourselves, shall we?

So the story just starts. There's no prologue, for which I'm thankful for, and gives us a pretty good idea on who our heroine is. Her name's Daciana and she's a wulfkin, meaning that she becomes a wolf during the full moon. And that is exactly how we're introduced to her, as a wolf running through the forest during the full moon. However she crosses paths with a bear and has to lead it back to the forest due to her strong conviction that all animals deserve a chance to live. Unfortunately humans, the police just to make matters worse, are tailing this bear. In a normal situation Daciana could probably say she's using her 'animal behavior specialist' skills to make the bear go away, but right now she's a giant wolf and those are considered a threat by most humans. So off to the forest she runs until sunrise, where she's once again human, but very much naked. So stealth hi-jinks ensues until the plot comes out of hiding: the cubs Daciana watches over at the animal institute she works at have gone missing. And for most people that probably wouldn't matter, but if Daciana is out of a job that means her one year of independence away from her pack is over. But things just become complicated when she's introduced to the cynical and baggage laden police officer/detective, Connell. Putting all her doubts about moving back to her clan to the forefront of her mind.

So now that you know the plot, let's talk about the characters. In my mind characters are way more important than plot when it comes to romance, so I was actually happy to read what was in Daciana's head. Daciana doesn't suffer the tragic paranormal romance heroine issue of 'I'm sorry for being plain' or 'I'm way too snarky to be taken seriously' virus. She's a sweet, middle of the road girl that like her job, custard pastries, and is willing to speak her mind when she has to. Yes she's brash, but I guess that comes with her fierce pride as a wulfkin. In general I liked her, even though she seemed a little preachy when it came to animals and hunting.

Next let's talk about Connell, our male lead. Connell is a guy that recently divorced his wife after she was busy getting  heavily "interrogated" by a guy on the force. This has caused him to want to take love slow, and to hate all liars. However Daciana seems to be a special exception, and he's ready to commit to her pretty early on. Aside from that Connell is pretty meh to me. I don't hate his guts, but he's not making me swoon either.

So now let's talk about the thing that you're all waiting for. The plot-wait, you don't care about how that works out? Fine, then let's talk about the romance. The romance felt rushed, over reliant on lust, and all round dull. I really didn't like it, but then again you can't expect a fully fleshed out romance in fifty pages. However I loved how teasing Connell could be towards Daciana, not that assholish type that drops the girl's self esteem, but the really cute and fluffy type that's all in good fun.

Really, it was freaking adorable.

So, basically I kinda liked the book. Admittedly paranormal romance is not my cup of tea, but I'd recommend Mrs. Walsh's brand of paranormal romance. The paranormal is there, but it's not all encompassing, and the characters involved in the romance aren't half bad.

If you wanna buy it, do so here.

I'm gonna go buy some pizza now. No beer though, underage, sorry Connell...

Genre Savvy vs Get Out of Jail Free

A lot of the time authors want to make their heroes/heroines look smart. Because, apparently, being badass often includes having a brain in the ol' noggin. So often times our heroes will create elaborate, and often tedious, plans to get out of situations. Sometimes these plans seem a bit too contrived, like the author just wanted everything to fall into place like a rigged game of poker. And just like in poker the reader often feels cheated out of time and money, but mostly the latter since that doesn't grow on trees. However I notice some people will complain about characters that seem to recognize too much around them and will quickly find ways to avoid these situations, or exploit the situation to their advantage. Whelp, that's not a get out of jail free card, that character is simply genre savvy. Now, according to TV Tropes, genre savvy is basically when a character is well endowed with a bit of common sense and wit. They will have seen a situation that is standard in a certain genre, and they will react to it in a way they see fit. Does that mean they know they're in a story? Maybe not, but they've seen the situations in other stories and aren't about to fall into the same trap.

But now you're probably wondering. "How can we tell the difference? It all seems like an overly smart character to me. I think you just wanted an excuse to send me to TV Tropes."

No, not necessarily...On both fronts.

When you make a genre savvy character, it's up to you to figure out if they're going to be annoying 'perfect' characters. Even though a character can be genre savvy, they're still human so they will make mistakes. On top of that you have to figure out what their role in the story is. If they're just the comic relief who has no skills outside being genre savvy, chances are no one else in the party will listen to him, making his genre savviness useless to everyone except the reader. Also, the genre savvy person will probably have consequences. Unlike a 'get out of jail free' set up, the road isn't mapped out just for the character to get out of. The character simply recognizes the road and then acts accordingly. Basically there is no dues ex machina for these characters, reality continues to role and they're just gonna try and dodge the 'Obviously Gonna Be In This Ruin Indiana Jones Boulders'.  Because every ruin has Indiana Jones Boulders.

So I'm gonna go get lost on TV Tropes now...

An Idiot's Whining: 10 Annoying Grimdark Fantasy Cliches

Grimdark fantasy is basically fantasy for people who think they're hardcore! Okay, not really, but it's close. Grimdark fantasy is a subgenre that's darker than your usual fantasy stories. Yeah, the prince may be riding off to save the princess, but he's likely to rape her when he finds her. The world has forests, but someone probably set them all on fire. the world's doomed, the people are all bastards, it basically looks like the internet. A doomed yet amazing wasteland that happily gives you mental scars that will never heal. And while all that sounds awesome and dandy, I've read so much of this subgenre that it's garnered it's very own cliches. Oh look, there's the title! So now that you know what we're talking about, let's get this party started.

10. Rape: The first time I read about the 'hero' raping people was in Prince of Thorns. It shocked me to the core, and made me wonder what in the heck happened that caused a thirteen year old boy to go around raping girls ten years older than him. Now all the male view point characters will go around raping fair to mediocre maidens. And if our heroes aren't going around raping young women, then the heroines got brutally raped and now they want revenge. Once upon a time it was a shocking plot device, but now it's boring. Congratulations, you managed to make rape boring. I'm not sure if that makes me messed up, or the people that keep using this trope.

9. Everyone's a Bastard: You're a bastard, I'm a bastard, the hero's a bastard, the dog, the cat, even that speck of dust. We're all bastards and we're all gonna betray each other at some point or another. And yes, the characters are allowed to be bastards, but that shouldn't be their full time job. It's pretty rare to read about a character in a grimdark fantasy that manages to sit in the middle of 'bastard' and 'anti-hero'. It's actually kinda sad since that's the whole point of grimdark fantasy, throwing our characters into moral dilemmas. And yeah we do it, but we make the characters into never ending bastards. Bastard.

8. Medieval Setting: Why? Does having a proper law force just make it hard for your characters to be bastards? Have you never played Grand Theft Auto? I'm hoping that this trend is just because fantasy is usually thrown into medieval settings, not because it's easier for the characters to get away with anything and everything.

7. Orphans: I'm not sure anyone realizes this, but your life could be a living hell without being an orphan. Almost all wanna be grimdark fantasy books have their main characters be these little orphans that learn how terrible the world is at an early age. They claim that this allows the character to learn all their thievery, backstabbing, and everything else at an early age, but I'm call out on that excuse. You're trying to use the pity card, and I can assure you that I'm ignoring it. What about your character being the child of a town guard? Those guys are usually shown to be slimy bastards anyway, I'm sure they'd learn a thing or two about cruelty.

6. No Settling Down: The main character never seems to settle down. They always have to move onto the next heist, the next kill, and the next turning of bastardy. And yes, that is now a word. I'm not saying that the character has to get married and ride off into the sunset, but at some point the adventure does end, and you do want to just stop. Unless, of course, your character is just addicted to the danger. Then that'd explain some of the stupid decisions they made.

5. No Humor: And now I'm sure some of you are gonna say something about the The Lies of Locke Lamora. Yeah, that has some comedy, but if you read enough grimdark fantasy you'll see that it's always solemn. Someone dies, get's raped, becomes a bastard, or the world just gives up and explodes. In between there isn't a hint of funny dialogue, just that droll feeling that begins eating at your soul and making you cry...Or throw the book out, your choice.

4. Countries Always at War: Why? Why are there always disputes between countries? You realize the world can suck without war, right? Heck, you go to a violent slum during peace time and wonder if the people there are safe and cheery. Throw in the 'needed' medieval conditions and I can assure you that the story can go pretty dark pretty quick. But I'm sure war is used because it's exciting, or at least that's usually the reason given, anyway.

3. The World is Stripped Bare: Honestly, even if there was a time of plenty I'm sure the the races of your world wouldn't get along. Every time I read a grimdark fantasy, the world is stripped of its natural resources. The ore is running low, the crops are dying, and clean water is hard to find. Really, it's like someone sucks at playing Civilization. And you know, I probably wouldn't even mind any of it if the people were squabbling over the lack of food, but they never do. It's always something else, like world domination, and not because their people are hungry. Well they are hungry...Power hungry! Yeah! Okay, I'm done.

2. Little to no Magic: Grimdark fantasy is always low fantasy. The magic is always minor, and the little that does exist is never actually explored. It's so disappointing considering all the bastardy that can be done with magic. Heck, make a necromancer the main character! With all the darkness swimming around, it's the perfect time to allow the dark arts to shine, or darken...Whatever.

1. Everyone's a Mercenary, Thief, or Assassin: WHY? Why do you have to be one of these three occupations? Do you fear being something else wouldn't make you a bad enough bastard? Do you think they won't have awesome skills? You do realize that most factory workers during the Victorian period could probably do a plethora of other things, right? Like being in a gang. But being a full time thief/assassin/mercenary? Nope, you usually went hungry.

So those are all the more annoying cliches in grimdark fantasy, or at least those are the ones that annoy me. Now don't misunderstand this post, I've read books that take these cliches and make them into something new, but more often than not they just fall flat...And die, because it's grimdark.

I'm gonna go play Candy Land now...

An Idiot's Review of The Immortals: Part Two: Allies and Enemies

So it's safe to say that you knew I'd be reviewing this book eventually. I was basically a whiny fangirl over the first book, so it's no surprise that I'd be quick to jump onto reviewing Mrs. Cheryl Mackey's The Immortals: Allies and Enemies. This is practically a direct sequel to the first book, which almost always got me nervous. Sequel books have a bad habit of being boring and filled with pointless sub plots that make you want to find something else to do. However this fate managed to escape this particular book thanks to the massive amount of world building and character development. However it's not done in a way that is, once again, full of annoying filler. The plot is on a roll, and it takes us on a wild journey...Then careens off a cliff, making me want to slam my kindle against a wall.

Okay, let me explain this in a way that makes sense. First off, the main characters do go through a ton of character development.Romance blossoms between two of our companions, we learn a bit more about Emeranthe's past, and we get to see Jadeth get angsty about the demise of her people thanks to a new character getting introduced. I feel like out of all the characters, Jaeger missed out on some deep development, but I'm sure that will be changed with the next book. Because there must be a next book...

We're also introduced to two new characters. First up we have the elf, Dehil, he's a sneaky cowardly guy that you really don't trust the minute he waltzes onto the stage. As I read more about his character, and even got a view of things from his head, I still couldn't decide if I hated him or not. He's just one of those slippery rogues you have to either love or hate, there's just no middle ground. I mean, there could be, but my emotions were sloshing around the entire time reading about him. One minute I wanted to hug him, the next I wanted to punch him in the face.

Next up is Gabaran. He's a species of elf that's exiled, and has a complex history that I'd love to explore further. The companions run into him in a tower in the desert, and learn that Emeranthe knows this guy. However that doesn't make him trust worthy, and a lot of the time I found myself wondering if this guy really did have the best interest for the companions at heart. Then the ending hit...

The overall plot of this story is the quest that the council had given our companions at the end of the last novel. Go find the magical and mystical map. This sends our companions out to the desert again, which I loved, and caused plenty of issues in its own way. However there wasn't so much as plot as character development. The truth is, the entire book is character driven this time around. If you're looking for action it's most certainly there, but it's the character interaction that makes this book shine.

So what didn't I like about this book? I mean, I'm a whiny person, I have to dislike/hate something. Well, the purple prose pertaining to the romantic parts was not appreciated. I dislike purple prose, reasons can be found here, so I was rolling my eyes during those sections. I also didn't buy the romance between two of the characters, yeah I liked it, but that doesn't mean it was realistic. I'd have appreciated at least hints to it in the last book.

Oh, and the ending. That cliff hanger ending...

I'm gonna go cook dinner now...

If you wanna buy the book, do so here.

Favorite Fantasy Things of the Year

Yeah, I'm gonna pretend I'm important enough that you guys care about my thoughts. Anyway, 2015 was a really wild ride for me! I started a blog, began trying to join the military, got a boy friend, lost a boyfriend, and even started then burned a project I was working on. Basically I did a ton of growing up, and I'm proud of that...

But anyway, time for this delusion to end, let's go to why you're really here!

So this year had a ton of interesting books, movies, and a hundred and other 'fantasy' related things. And of course since I over indulge in all of this, I decided to post my favorite fantasy books, movies, anime, manga, and games of 2015. Now some of you may be upset by what I post up here, but I'm a broke teenager, I can't read/play/watch everything. So enough with the jabbering, let's start this list!

1. Books: And in the books category we have...The Immortals: Shadow and Star Stone. I reviewed this book already, so you know how much I fangirled over it, but I loved this book to death. The characters were refreshing, the setting was refreshing, even the magic system was refreshing. It was like water, except it had blood and sand in it. Oh, and red head elves. Seriously, Jadeth is adorable.

2. Anime: When it comes to anime, it usually boils down to an urban fantasy, and this entry is definitely that with...Dance With Devils. A series that is set in Japan, but has a ton of western fantasy elements. Mainly dealing in devils and vampires, both seeking a 'forbidden grimoire' and murdering their way through the city to do it. I'll admit that it was a romance/harem type thing, but it was done so well that I had a good time. Plus it had a lovely soundtrack and gorgeous art, so it was like cotton candy for the brain. Yum!

3. Manga: This was a hard one. Not in terms to pick out what was best, but more to decide if I should go by when a series came to America, or when it was serialized in Japan. So in the end I decided to just pick what came out in the US since that's where I live. And the winner just so happens to be...Ancient Magus' Bride! Considering how much I squealed about this series at one point, you really shouldn't be surprised to see this on the list. Chise is an adorable character, the magic system is interesting, the story telling engulfs you, and the art is breath taking. I really suggest this series, even if you aren't into comics.

4. Movies: None. All the movies I saw were spy movies, and then I went broke...So how's the weather?

5. Video Games: Bloodborne. Seriously, you guys knew this would be on here. With all the amazing lore, the messed up story line, and the ambiance of Bloodborne; you knew it was going on my list one way or another. The main merit of this game is to read the lore surrounding it, it's a wonderful tale that really startles you on just how far humans are willing to go to gain knowledge. Plus there's steam punk elements, something that I've been missing from video games, probably the main reason it's even here. In all seriousness it's a great game, and here's a link, that breaks down the lore in a story format for those of you who don't want to play the game.

And those are my favorite fantasy things of 2015. I hope you all enjoyed your last year as much as I did, and I hope you all have an interesting 2016!

I'm gonna go play with some sparklers now...

Characters Before Labels(And I'm Aware it Doesn't Sound Snazzy)

So there's this really cool story I've been told by various people. It's truly an amazing, fantastic, and almost fairy tale like story that I'd never thought to actually exist. Apparently all white people are privileged, and if they're white men then they're extra privileged! And to top it all off, you get the grand prize if you happen to identify as heterosexual! Yes, if you're a white heterosexual male you are officially the most privileged being on this entire planet. And as such you should be either ashamed or strive to understand that you were born with privilege and should learn to look from another group's point of view.

Congratulations, come receive your crappy prize!

Sarcasm aside, I could never understand this type of view. I live in a home where my father is a white heterosexual man, and my mother is a black heterosexual woman. So I have the unique ability to see the world from two different American racial groups. From what I could see my father was never 'privileged' at all, and was always looked down upon by everyone, even before he met my mother. The idea that a white heterosexual male is at all 'privileged' is painting an extremely broad, if not ignorant, scope. This is doubly so in the world of storytelling, a medium that relies heavily on the lives that people have experienced.

 If you sit down and read writing blogs you will find white people, especially heterosexual males, talking about how they have to get into the practice of looking from a gay person's POV, or a black person's POV. It's always these...labels, as if those are first and foremost and not the character themselves. And that's an issue that needs to be stomped on by something huge and monstrous, in fact just bring in Cthulu to eat it.

A black person has feelings, thoughts, and motivations just like a white person. And, this may shock some people, but civil rights aren't constantly on their mind. A gay person also has thoughts, motivations, and goals. And, according to my bi friend, they don't always think about how their sexual status will effect them or the people around them. Things like sexuality, skin color, and even religion shouldn't be something that defines every fabric of your character. It will cause certain quirks and ideals in your character, but not to the point that it will be the only thing on your character' mind!

And now you're probably saying: "But Luka, how do you expect me to write these non-white, not so heterosexual, totally unprivileged people without a mob coming to my door? I like looking like a reasonably tolerant person, it helps sell books."

Whelp, how do you write an elvish society? How do you write from the view of a dormouse? How do you write Cthulu? Last I checked most people haven't been a massive tentacle monster that looked like it leapt right out of a gory space hentai. Yet you manage to write all these fantastic beings just fine, well you're happy with them, anyway. You write them like people, or tentacle monsters, first and then add on things like race and sexuality. And if you find yourself stuck with certain details you do tons, and tons, and tons, and tons, and tons of research.

Basically stop trying to make sure you're not offending people. It doesn't matter if you're a lesbian latina woman who was actually born male, and you write a character along the same lines of your own life experience, someone's gonna get offended and think you're a bigot. Because that's life, and people don't care about what you think.

So yeah, I'm gonna go read some Bloodborne lore...

Oh, and Merry Christmas. Or Happy Holidays. Or...-Insert a Winter Greeting Here-

P.S. Don't talk about race, religion, or politics around the holidays. It spawns rants like these.

Writing a Halfling's Life

A lot of the time in fantasy, you have creatures that aren't full blooded. Sometimes these characters are halflings, no I don't mean the tiny people that take gold rings to volcanoes, I mean people of more than one race. You know what I'm talking about; half-elves, half-dwarves, half-humans, that sort of thing. However I notice that most of the people who write these types of characters usually use the same old format. Two different races get together, one or both parents die, child grows up into an angsty avenger, and the child is also super powerful. Well I may be a full human, but I am the closest real life 'halfling' you can get in this world, aka my parents are white and black. So sit back and relax while I basically tell you in way too many words to quit the angsting.

1.) We Don't Always Angst- I know, it would seem like it since being a halfling means you come from two separate worlds, but it isn't that simple. A lot of the times we try to fit ourselves together as our own person, and even though this is pretty rocky in the childhood days, it eventually evens out into not caring. Speaking of which...

2.) Our Childhoods Weren't Always Terrible- My parents are both still alive and love me and my three siblings. I managed to get both white and black friends, my teachers didn't try to sabotage my education, and my grandparents are civil to me. Hey, I never said everything was perfect. But most times our childhoods are completely normal, so don't make it overly dramatic unless needed.

3)  We Can Find Love- For some reason you all think that a mix race love is super duper complex. As if we pick one race and then we suddenly have to conform, it does't exactly work that way. Love is just as hard for us as it is anyone else. Don't make the love strange and noble, it's just as normal and stupid as someone of one race.

4.) We Don't Always Angst- No seriously, we don't.

And there you go, this should help you write more believable halflings. Now I'm gonna go play Mario 64...

An Idiot's Review of Splintered Lands: Through Fire Forged

You know, as someone who loves fantasy I actually come with a ton of pet peeves. Sometimes I can over come them if I like the story premise enough, but more often enough I just stew in discontentment and barely manage to finish the book. This happened to be the case of Splintered Lands: Through Fire Forged by James Tallett. And don't think I'm going to rant this entire review, I have more class than that.

So this story just shoves us straight into the plot. No real explanations on why the world is the way it is. There's a casual mention of a gigantic mage war that's made an Inquisition of sorts, but aside from that we're left in the dark. One of our main character's is Inswan, a baron within this gloomy dystopia that is doing his best to defend his lands from the invading robber baron, Iudas. Inswan is described to be a benevolent and wise ruler, who hates seeing injustice done to all people. Which is a big reason as to why he hates Iudas, this guy is a complete bastard. He rapes women, burns villages to the ground, steals from his serfs, basically he read up on the latest volume of How to be a Terrible and Cliched Villain. And this is where I have a massive issue with this book, Iswan is shown to be a man that is kind and benevolent, almost a perfect ruler. While his rival, Iudas, is a terrible excuse for a human being that needs a hot poker repeatedly ran through his ass.

On the opposite side of the country is Fryca. Apparently she is a technologist trying to make the world a better place ever so slowly. However all her efforts are constantly destroyed by The Knights of the Broken Wheel. Think Roman Catholic Church without any of the religion. Fryca is a clever and ambitious young woman...And that's it. I can't tell you much about her because her personality doesn't grow beyond that.

And by now you've probably discovered a theme with this review. While the premise is interesting, a world destroyed by a massive magic war, the characters and events are terribly written. The pace is rushed, the characters bland, and the theme on 'humans are bastards' wasn't executed very well. It was clear that the writer should have taken more time to write and establish the characters, and a bit more about the world around them. Dystopias are supposed to be dreary, but boring is never supposed to be part of the equation.

If you wanna buy it do so here.

I'm gonna go Christmas shopping now...

Writing For Yourself

Normally I have a cheesy or sarcastic thing to say at the beginning of my blog posts, just so you know to take whatever I'm about to spew with a heaping pile of salt. But this time around I'm going to be pretty serious, because my subject today is something that I've thought about for a long while. A few months ago I posted about how I excited I was that I had managed to take my WIP to a second draft. You guys gave me a ton of support in that particular post, and my pride had gone through the roof. However going through this fiasco for a second time, I realized that what I was writing wasn't entirely me. The characters and plot were definitely coming from my brain juices, but the content and themes weren't. Those were all coming from what I expected big time agents and publishers would want, not what I personally wanted to write about.

And yesterday when I was going through some of my other old WIPs, I realized that I never actually wrote for myself. It was almost always based on the expectations of people who would eventually help me make it in a publishing company, not what I wanted. I love dark themes, but what I was writing seemed muted and censored so that a publisher wouldn't think it was for a B-rate movie. I wanted more anime/manga tropes, but I always shied away because I didn't want an agent getting freaked out by them. All I was doing was covering up my voice, a likely unique voice that may or may not bring in a huge audience because of my different views and writer's education.

And now I realize I may not be the only one with this issue. Many times I see people asking 'would you read this' and 'would you be interested in that' instead of deciding entirely by what they want to write. If you don't want to write about dystopian, YA , love triangle romance then don't. It's not gonna kill your chances of getting an audience. Because if you keep going down that dark road of doing what people will expect out of you, then you'll hate your writing and what it's become.

Gosh, this was a super serious post. I'm gonna go watch Monster Musume now, I really need to laugh....

KABLAM! Super Weapons!

Yeah, I let out my inner eight year old boy, what're you gonna do about it? Anyway, recently I've been watching a boat load of super hero movies. Everything from Guardians of the Galaxy, which is awesome by the way, to Captain America. Now I love me a good superhero movie, they're usually fun, unless it's a DC movie then it's just awesome, and I get to stare at a bunch of hot guys doing cool things. But one of the most interesting things about the entire premise is that there are characters who don't have powers. Instead they rely on their smarts, skills, and weapons to save the city/day/galaxy/universe/house.

And the same thing happens a lot of the time in fantasy books. Characters don't have the super woobly wobbly magic that other characters have, instead they have their very own weapons that does the woobly wobbly for them. Normally they're in the form of talking swords, ancient bows, or the automatic wizard staff.  These babies could destroy whole armies, you know after the bad guy killed one of the hero's best friends. They always hit their marks, always stay clean, and they're sharper than a diamond that takes daily doses of badass steroids. More than likely you get them from a super secret cave, a little old lady who was missing her kitten, or the bottom of that ancient lake where virgins were sacrificed during the full moon. Basically they're super awesome dues ex machinas that will probably help solve the main story line. Heck, it might even get them a pretty pretty princess during the process.

I feel like it's all just a waste. If you know anything about nuclear missiles, then you know that there's plenty of consequences to using them. They don't really solve all problems, if anything they end up compounding them. Yes they're badass, yes they can't kill the Saint of Killers, but there's waaaaaaaay more cons than pros to those weapons of mass destruction. With this being said, wouldn't it make sense for the super weapons in fantasy to be just as destructive? And no, I don't mean killing the dark lord and all his super evil armies. I mean on the environment, the people in the vicinity of the attack, the person using them, even their psyche. The only mental problems that they ever seem to cause is corruption, but that's usually until the pretty pretty princess tells the hero that she believes in them. That's a ton of wasted material just cast aside because the writer wants to just show case all the super weapon's badass powers.

Now I'm gonna go drool over Fallout 4...

An Idiot's Review of Urdaisunia

When I read a book one of the biggest things, for me, that can make or break it are the characters. If I read a book with a flimsy plot I'm more than happy to overlook it if the characters are solid. Heck, I'm even willing to forgive shoddy world building and mediocre prose for the sake of good characters. Thankfully, in the case of Urdaisunia by Ms. Kyra Halland, it's not just the characters who happen to stand out and help create a pretty interesting story.

Now this story starts out of with a prologue. Since we all know how I feel about prologues I won't go into a rant about, instead we'll fast forward to the beginning of the book. It actually starts out with a young widow named Rashali, recently she lost her husband and her young daughter to illness. On top of that there's a drought going on, her country has been taken over by the Sazar, and the rebellion group she's apart of is full of idiots. However her entire world get's thrown on its head when the prince of the Sazar, Eruz, decides to spare her life...Well that and the gods decide to use her as the token peice of a bet. If she marries Eruz then the goddess of Earth and the god of water will 'mate' and make it rain.


Now the main plot makes it seem like Rashali is some amazing chosen one. Especially when other gods begin rooting for her, how almost every man in power wants to have her, and how her decisions will effect the entire world. Basically the whole savior shtick. However whenever Rashali makes a decision it has serious consequences. There rarely seems to be the 'super special awesome savior net' that so many stories have for their characters. If Rashali makes a bad decision it comes back to bite her in the butt later.

Now let's talk about the characters. Personally, I found Rashali to be a very strong female character. And not in this haughty, angsty, if not manish way that seems to be all the rage. Rashali was clever, had a healthy dose of common sense, and seemed to learn from her mistakes. Who cares that she couldn't fight for almost the entire story, the fact that she could use brain over brawn was really refreshing.

Eruz, her love interest, was an okay guy. I felt like he happened to fall for Rashali far too quickly, but then again it was never clear enough for me to determine if the goddess of love had anything to do with it. Aside from that I think he was a good character, not one strong enough to be the center of attention the entire story, but one that I did  enjoy reading about when his parts came up. He seemed like an honest and good man, bound between duty and love, something you often get in the romance-fantasy genre.


To be honest, I was completely disappointed by Eruz's siblings and the king. All three felt like standard villains with no real defining traits. Yes, we understand that the brothers want the throne for themselves, and yes we understand that the father has ridiculously high expectations. We get it. But there needs to be more traits in the people we have to despise aside from greed, jealousy, and greed. If anything I was more curious as to why the father wanted Eruz to die, or if that was just in the heat of the moment. Aside from that I never felt an ounce of disgust, curiosity, or satisfaction when these guys did anything.

Finally there's the gods. Not much to say here, they acted in typical tropes for each type of thing they were patron over. If anything, they heavily reminded me of the Greek gods and the story of Athena or the Titans. It was interesting in theory, but the archetypes chosen for the gods made them boring and predictable. And due to the focus on the humans in this story, there just wasn't enough room in it to evolve the gods further.

The many pitfalls in character, actually got saved by world building. First off this story happens to be in an almost Middle Eastern setting. So often times Rashali had to go through deserts, rocky hills, and fertile plains thanks to Urdaisunia's rivers. Not only is the setting interetsing, but the various cultures that we're introduced to. The Sazar have to have five wives, a contracted concubine ring, and didn't have a writing system before invading Urdaisunia. The Urdai have their own traditions and were even the ones who introduced writing to the Sazar. There were other cultures as well, but they were more left in the background so that the Sazar and Urdi world could shine.

In general I found this story to be very entertaining. An amazing read if you want a romance fantasy, that is a bit more involved than the typical romance book.

If you wanna buy the book get it here.

Okay, I need to go cry in a corner now. Tokyo Ghoul is a very cruel mistress....

Where the Idiot Has Been

Hi! Wait, how long has it been since I've been active on this blog? Um...Okay, so my life has been all over the place lately. I've been busy training to join the American Navy, helping my siblings in school, and packing my junk up so I can put it in storage. However I have been paying attention to the fantasy books being published, and have a ton of awesome reviews and topics to cover in the upcoming weeks. One book I finished months ago, in a single day actually, is Urdaisunia. So you can expect that review as soon as humanely possible. I really have nothing else to say, so I'm gonna sign off here.

Now I need to proofread my Urdaisunia review...

An Idiot's Review of The Diary of Modern Cinderella

As you guys know, I typically review fantasy books. However I decided to go with a change of pace and read a slice of life YA called The Diary of Modern Cinderella. I'm sure more than half of you are rolling your eyes at the mere title and saying: "Are you serious, another Cinderella teen drama story? Don't you have a few more brain cells than that, Luka?"

To be fair it's called an idiot's review, what did you expect? In all seriousness this story, written by Ms. Sekina Mayu, has very little to do with the actual overall plot to Cinderella aside from the fact that our main heroine, Risa, get's a stepmother and stepsister after her mother passes away. However her new mother, Riko, is actually kind to her from the get go and her new sister, Chiyu, becomes her bestest friend. Riko doesn't try to replace Risa's original mother, and Risa herself is only angsty after the initial news of her father dating someone else. However her life is tipped over when her father, a superintendent in the police force, get's sent away to Nagasaki on a case and all hell breaks loose as Riko begins to abuse both of her daughters.

I honestly loved reading everything from Risa's point of view. For her everything is usually cut into quick logic thoughts, nothing too complex or over the top. It really felt like I was reading from the mind of a young teenage girl who's confused by her step-mother's strange behavior, and struggling to keep it all a secret. With that said, I would have loved a deeper analysis on how it affected her and more scenes depicting the abuse. Risa ,in general, is a typical girl thrust in an atypical situation, there's no real defining characteristics about her.

Now comes a large problem I had with this novel. A lot of it felt rushed, with little time to actually sit down and let us absorb what was happening, or a real chance to meet the characters. Risa had an advantage since she's the eyes we see everything happening from, but everyone else is foggy and almost one dimensional. Understandably this is a light novel, meaning that you have to read the accompanying novels to get a better idea, but it would still be nice to see how Risa truly viewed them.

All in all this was an interesting take on the Cinderella trope, and is enjoyable as long as you're not going into it expecting a constant barrage of angst and drama.

If you wanna buy the book it can be found here.

I'm gonna go work on the next blog post. I'm so behind....

Fear and All It Pertains

Fear is what makes us human. It separates us from machines, guides many of our decisions, and dictates when we're gonna go to bed at night. Because let's face it;  if you watch a good horror movie at midnight, chances are you're not gonna go to bed before dawn. Anyway I digress, the point of this post is exploring the fears that your characters have. And I don't mean the typical ones like 'loosing a loved one' because unless you're a demented sociopath everyone has this. No, I mean something like a fear of the dark or a fear of spiders. I also want to take a look at how characters should/could react to their fears.

I always find it amazing that a ton of characters just don't have basic fears. All their fears have to be this noble bullcrap that makes them seem like a good person, as if it will help us like the characters more. Well you know what, the entire emotion of fear is a completely selfish thing! When you're truly afraid of something you rarely compromise with the people who need you to get something done. You're gonna do everything and anything in your power to avoid making contact/looking at/interacting with whatever it is you fear. So even though the pretty red-headed gypsy girl may be drowning in a pond full of filth, if your hero is a total germaphobe, he's probably gonna keep going on his merry way or not give his 100%  if he helps her.

Now that sounds terrible doesn't it? That poor guy I just created sounds like a total bastard but Joe, that'll be his name for now, could have other traits that balance his mysophobia. He could be a very giving person that would give the shirt off his back to save a sickly orphan that'll die anyway, he could clean the local poorhouse twice a week, all things that would generally make him seem like a good person. Balancing out traits is super important, and is slowly becoming this thing I say in a crazy tone whenever I read books. If you don't balance out his mysophobia with something like...a strong work ethic, then he's going to topple over into a character that will be seen as completely miserable. However if this is your goal then good for you, in fact you should just ignore a good chunk of this post and go do something else. Go bake a pumpkin pie, clean your refrigerator, or read and comment on another one of my other blog posts...Please?

Anyway, my obnoxious suggestion aside, this entire time you're probably wondering why Joe just doesn't get over his fears. After all, there's gonna be something in his life that he needs to deal with that also involves his phobia. And that's true, because life really doesn't care about our comforts and wants. However, people are ridiculously stubborn and selfish. Going outside your comfort zone is a hard thing to do, and takes a toll on a person mentally and sometimes physically. So even if Joe wanted to save our red-headed gypsy, it'd make his stomach twist in knots, his mind go back and forth on his moral responsibilities, and make him sweat freaking him out even more. Thinking back on all this, I wouldn't want to deal with my fears either. Three cheers for cowards!

I'm gonna go bake an apple pie now...